Reflections and Regrets
by SeducedbySirius
Summary: This is a first version of my first chapter. I have never written a fanfic before so i'm putting this up to see if there will be any interest in my story. Please RR and let me know if i should carry on!


Chapter 1

Remus Lupin stood carefully, feeling every muscle in his body complain.

Last nights full moon had been a particularly

hard one without the wolfsbane potion. He walked around the room trying to work some life into his exhausted body.

He glanced around the room and sighed. It had been a long time since he'd had to hide out in the shrieking shack for the full moon. Dumbledore had offered him a room in the castle for the night but no matter how much Dumbledore had assured Remus he would be safe, or rather the children would be, he had declined.

He would never forgive himself if something had happened and he had attacked one of the children.

Sighing heavily he opened the door. Immediately the smell of blood hit his nostrils and panic coursed through his veins. He must have got out last night! He ran round the shack looking for the cause of the smell and nearly fainted in shock. There in the long grass was a woman laying face down.

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" I'm sorry Albus, but I just didn't know where else to bring her. I could hardly take her back to headquarters. There wouldn't have been much of a welcome party there for her."

Remus sat in the hospital wing of Hogwarts, looking down at the pale face of the woman in the bed, relief still flooding through him after realising he had not attacked her. He was still insure of he had done the right thing by bringing her here. Maybe he should have left her to rot where she lay he thought angrily. Dumbledore's voice broke his thoughts.

"You're quite right there Remus. Alas, people rarely look for all the facts before jumping to conclusions" Dumbledore replied.

Remus frowned in confusion. "I'm not sure I follow you" He said.

Albus looked at Remus and sighed. "Ok. What do you know about Louise? " He asked Remus.

"Apart from the fact the she turned traitor and headed off to Voldermort with all our information you mean?" Remus snarled.

"Ah. There. That's exactly what I'm talking about" He replied sighing and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Remus was well and truly baffled by now.

" She has the dark mark Albus. That's simple enough even for me to figure out."

" You of all people should know never to judge something but what you see" Albus replied " Did you never question what she was doing with one? She's a muggle, Remus, for goodness sake. "

Remus looked at Albus his head spinning. Merlin in all those years I never thought about that he thought to himself. His instincts had screamed at him at the time, telling him it was all wrong there was something someone wasn't telling him.

After a few minutes uncomfortable silence, Albus sighed and looked at Remus, fire dancing in usually sparkling blue eyes. He seemed to come to a decision.

"What I am about to tell you stays in this room" He said gesturing around the castle's hospital wing.

"Ok" Remus said slowly, not sure he wanted to hear the information he was about to given.

"The only reason I say this is because Louise swore me to secrecy..."Albus began but Remus put up his hands and stopped him.

" If it wasn't supposed to be known, then maybe we should leave it that way" He said, although now was intrigued.

Albus sighed again and smiled tiredly. " I fear that if I hadn't been so good at keeping secrets, her life, as well as Sirius' might have been different".

So, Albus started his story, stopping now and then to collect himself and by the time he had finished, Remus was crying silent tears and wishing that Sirius wasn't his best friend so he could go round there and punch him in the mouth.

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Sirius sat and looked at his best friend while he sat snoozing in the chair by the fire." What has got into him?!" He thought to himself. During the order meeting he hadn't been able to look Sirius in the eye and hadn't had one good word to say to him since. " It must have been the bad night he had. He's probably just tired and ratty" He figured.

Just as he thoughts trailed off Remus woke suddenly and stared at Sirius.

"I'm going to spend the night at Hogwarts. Albus has offered me one of the guests quarters for a while" He, said as he stood and reached for the bottle of firewhiskey Sirius had been drinking. He stopped half way across the room and turned to look at Sirius.

"Sirius..." He began and the sighed and shook his head, turning towards the door.

"For Merlin's sake Remus just say it!" Sirius said loudly. " I don't know what I've done but please just tell me. As far as I know I have done nothing to insult or upset you Remus. What in Merlin's name is wrong with you tonight?" He said exasperated.

"Not now Sirius. I can't do this now" Remus snarled back and swooped out the door.

Sirius stood there, open mouthed. In all their years Remus had never acted so coldly towards to him. And there had been far too many reasons for him too over the long years they had shared. Reaching for the firewhiskey and pouring himself a glass, he wasn't sure he really wanted to know. It was obviously something horrendous.

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Louise opened her eyes and managed to silence the scream that was on the edge on of her lips. She looked around in a panic and tried to figure out where she was. Clean sheets from the feel of things so that must mean a bed, but it was dark so she didn't know who it belonged to. She made a shape in the dark and finally let out her scream.

" Louise? " A voice asked hesitantly " I'm sorry I didn't want to wake you so I left the candles out"

She shook her head in total amazement. " Remus? Merlin please tell me that's really you" She whispered tears staring to brew in her eyes.

She jumped as Remus light the candles and smiled at her, his own tears threatening to fall.

Louise lost it then and began to cry, shaking as huge sobs racked her body.

" I've missed you so much " She cried as Remus took her in his arms, and clung to him for dear life.

" Shhh everything's OK Louise, you're safe at Hogwarts" Remus whispered to her comfortingly.

" How did I get here? What happened? Why are you here?" She asked

" I found you, I have no idea what happened to you and I'm here because the alternative was spending the night with Sirius and I couldn't have done that without risking a life sentence in Azkaban" Remus replied smiling gently at her.

She visibly stiffened at his words. " Albus told you" She said simply.

" Yes." Remus answered not knowing what else to say.

They sat in silence for a while each lost in their own thoughts.

" Why didn't you tell anyone?" Remus asked her.

" Because no one would have believed me " She said. " Sirius made it quite clear what everything really thought. That I had turned traitor, fed Voldermort information about our side, and the only person that could back me up was Severus. I figured he wasn't exactly high on anyone's most trusted list either."

Remus sighed. She was right.

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Sirius sat in Dumbledores office wondering why on earth he had been summoned here, and feeling like he was 14 years old and looking at a months worth of detention. He didn't have to wait long as at that moment the door opened and Albus and Remus walked in.

" Good evening Mr Black" Albus greeted him and smiled warmly. " It's been a long time since you sat waiting in my office" He chuckled, his eyes twinkling merrily.

He barked a laugh and looked at Remus. He wasn't smiling but instead looked like a nervous wreck.

" Remus are you OK you look awful" He asked worry about his friend flooding through him.

Remus smiled slightly but did not answer.

" We have something to ask you Sirius" Albus said to break the silence. " Something you wont like but must take my word on"

" Umm OK " Sirius said slowly, wondering what an earth was happening here.

" We need someone to stay with you at Grimmauld Place. They must be kept out of sight of anyone but members of the order and I mean anyone. They will need some medical help, though only a matter of giving potions and meals, nothing too taxing" He smiled again.

" Who is it? It's not someone good i expect or you wouldn't be this serious about things. Is it a death eater that has seen the light or something? Sirius asked trying to keep things light. He was intrigued and quite worried about what the answer was going to be. " And what do I have to word on?"

As he finished he sentence, there was a knock at the door.

" Come in " Albus said and the door opened.

" You have got to be taking the piss" Sirius snarled, knowing that if he had been in his animagus form his hackles would be up and he would be growling.

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End file.
